Everyone knows anal sex is supposed to be painful right? WRONG!

Say it with me “anal sex shouldn’t hurt!” Sex of any kind shouldn’t hurt (unless you’re getting kinky 😉). Pain is our bodies’ way of letting us know something isn’t quite right. So why then does anal sex always seem to hurt?

The most likely reason is you aren’t prepping your booty enough. Anal desensitizers can numb important nerve endings that tell us if there’s a tear. These tears can cause pain when the numbness wears off (generally in about 45 minutes or so). These desensitizers can also numb your partner, prolonging sex, and aggravating injuries further.

So then how do I stop it from hurting so much? The most important rules are to go slow and use a LOT of lube. Like a lot! Follow these steps to have a 100% pain free anal experience.

1. Clean: use an anal douche filled with warm water to gently clean out your bum. Use the bathroom immediately after to clear out your system. The warm water also relaxes tense muscles.
2. Lube: With anal sex, you always want to apply an ample amount of quality lubricant because the anus doesn’t produce its own. Make sure to reapply frequently too. We really like using Sliquid’s Sassy Lube because it’s safe with toys and is nice and thick. Wicked’s Jelle works wonders too!
3. Stimulate: use fingers or a beaded toy to stimulate your butt. This will encourage your butt muscles to relax even further. Take your time. This part makes for great foreplay too.
4. Stretch: believe it or not, a tiny anal plug is not going to stretch your anal sphincters enough to accommodate your partner (or your preferred dildo). Find a good set of plugs like the They-ology Anal Training Set to slowly and gently stretch yourself. 

Extra tips:
Anything that goes in your butt should have a stopper or flared base. The butt likes to pull things in and not let go.

When picking out materials for your favorite anal toys, silicone, glass, and metal work best as they can be sterilized by boiling them in water (as long as they don’t vibrate).

When starting to penetrate, have the receiver be in control of the speed and depth. Doggie position works well for this. Keep in mind that sometimes your butt just isn’t in the mood for sex, and that’s okay. We should never force ourselves to do something we don’t want to do.

Watch our Basex of Anal video to learn more:

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