The Fifty Shades phenomenon has done quite a bit to normalize different kinds of sexual identities. But the books were not written as instruction manuals, leaving a lot of unanswered questions when it comes to incorporating inspired ideas into real life sexy situations.
The Spanking: Something that isn’t really fleshed out in Fifty Shades is the idea that someone could actually enjoy a spanking. There is a right way and wrong way to do just about everything in life, and when it comes to impact play you can even do it in a way that the bottom receives pleasure with their pain. Going in hard and fast doesn’t work well here. Giving your willing sub a ‘warm-up’ makes a big difference. Start slow, mix in some soft booty rubs in between harder spanks, and work up to the most intense hits. Implements like floggers and crops can be added after a warm-up and interspersed with skin to skin contact. A good dominant will listen to their sub and be aware of their nonverbal queues and noises. A responsible sub will use their safeword or verbal queues if things are too much. Communication is paramount.
The Balls: There has always been a bit of confusion about where “jiggle balls” or “ben wa balls” go. Also known as “kegel balls” or “orgasm balls” the majority of these spheres have the vagina in mind. Some folks have confused jiggle BALLS with anal BEADS, but they are actually developed for two different orifices. We do not recommend putting anything that does not have a long or flared base into the back door. I hope that clears up any confusion there! Kegel balls are great for strengthening the pelvic floor and adding stimulation to other activities. You can wear the balls throughout your day or during other kinds of play, including spanking (see above).
The Party: A big part of these movies and stories is really the style, the outfits, and the opulence. To replicate the look from the comfort of home, all you need is some sexy lingerie, a slinky dress, a nice black suit for him, and masks to enhance the mystery. Pro Tip: “Anastasia should really wear her underwear above her garter belt.” this is the proper way to wear stockings and a garter belt, especially if you anticipate using the bathroom or taking off your panties and leaving on your stockings. (via EW) If you'd like to explore the kinky party scene in your area try a quick search for swinger parties on Swinger.net or Kasidie.com, or search for Munches (not to be confused with munchies!) and other BDSM focused events via social media. You can also come down to our stores and ask our helpful staff if they have any leads on kinky parties or events near you. Attending one of these parties doesn't mean you have to participate, you can also watch and be watched from behind your filigree mask.
I'd love to see a movie all about what happens in Christian’s red room. They could have a party there, with lots of communication, consent, and pleasure from pain. Would you attend?
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Ready to add even more spice to your sex life? Keep reading and learn more with Dani's Top 5 Spice It Up Techniques.