Reclamation Resources

Vaginal Dryness

A symptom, not a cause. Do not think of dryness as the entire problem; discomfort is often an indicator of a larger, less obvious situation.

Vaginal dryness could be an issue even if you have not used lube for sexual encounters before. Our bodies change and vaginal dryness can happen with little to no warning. If you have started using lube, only to find the pain has increased, the lube you are using may actually be making the dryness worse. In cases like these, a daily moisturizer would prove useful, and a replacement for the water-based lube that you were using would do you some good. If this sounds like what you think is going on then please take our Lube guide and ask our staff for lube recommendations.

Other products labeled as “tightening” creams that you may be using could also be causing issues that feel similar to vaginal dryness.

Lastly, in cases where the problem seems to be very hit or miss, try to compare your wetness while masturbating to that of having sex with your partner. If there is a noticeable difference, then this problem could be resolved simply with the addition of toys or other types of play.

Identify the Problem

Start with professional medicine. If you have not talked with your doctor about pain and discomfort during sex, please do so. If you have, yet you still see no change in your pain level or have had an increase of pain, ask your doctor if any medications you are on could be a culprit. We would also recommend seeing a gynecologist as they could help to narrow down the potential source.

Consider Lube

Far too often many people do not think about what they are putting in their bodies. This can be potentially harmful in both the short and long term. Some lubes can leave your most delicate areas more dry and others can even over-hydrate the skin. If you are in need of a great lube, please ask any members of our staff.

Other Possibilities

Could you be too wet? If you have had a problem with dryness, have talked to your doctors, and have been taking measures to combat this (such as using a daily moisturizer or be targeted towards rehydrating the tissues) but the irritation has returned with time, you may have over-hydrated your skin. Stopping the routine of a daily moisturizer for a week followed by application every other day is advised.

Experiencing itching or irritation?

Many people dealing with menopause or other changes will often find that yeast infections and UTIs are more common. For yeast infections we recommend a weekly fungi-preventative therapy cream, and a daily oral probiotic.

What To Get/What to Avoid

It can get hard to find the perfect balancing place for anyone as we are all different. Do not feel discouraged if you have to change your routine several times. We also recommend keeping track of these changes and what you did to fix it so you will know what works best for maintaining your vaginal health.

Painful Sex

Sex should not be painful. Because there is still so much stigma around sex and health, many people go for years without getting the help they need. This can take a serious toll on our mental and sexual wellbeing. Fill out the choices below so you can start a conversation around your pain, and hopefully find the cause.

• • • Is your pain acute or chronic?
    • Is it concentrated to one area?
    • Do you have vaginal dryness?
    • Is there any itching?
    • Is there any burning?
    • Is there excessive odor?
    • Are you experiencing tightness?
    • Does it come with lower back pain?
    • Is there any bleeding or spotting?
    • Are your periods heavy?
    • Any incontinences issues?
    • Is it triggered by certain activities such as sex or exercise?
    • Is the pain sharp or achy?
    • Is the pain surface or deep?
    • Pain scale 1-10?
    • What is the frequency that you're experiencing pain?
      

First Steps

Talk to your doctor: Your genitals are part of your body, and should be treated just as any other medical concern. We recommend talking directly to a gynecologist or urogynecologist before doing any at home treatment. Sometimes what we think could help could actually make symptoms worse! If you notice any of the symptoms listed on the previous section, use them as a way to start that conversation with your doctor. It is also okay to ask for a second opinion if you feel your doctor is not taking your concerns seriously. We highly discourage self-diagnosis.

What to Expect

Your doctor could decide to perform any number of tests to determine the cause of the pain like a pelvic examination.

• • • Pelvic exam: It is important to communicate with your doctor during the exam if you experience any pain or discomfort similar to what you have been feeling. If needed you can ask for a smaller speculum too.
    • Lab Tests: Generally to look for infection.
    • Ultrasound: This helps them look for any abnormalities in your pelvic organs such as unusual growths.
    • Laparoscopy: The doctor will use a small camera to view your pelvic organs and again look for any abnormalities such as growths or signs of infection.
      

Possible Causes

• • • Vaginal Dryness: It can happen to anyone at any age for any number of reasons. Pick up our Vaginal Dryness guide for more information.
    • Infection: UTIs, Bacterial Vaginosis, Yeast Infections, and STIs can cause pain.
    • Nerve Pain: This can be caused by surgery, excessive sitting, or trauma to the pelvis.
    • Pelvic Floor Problems: Weak or inflexible muscles.
    • Vulvodynia: Chronic pain in the vagina lasting at least three months.
    • Endometriosis: Tissue similar to the uterine lining grows outside the uterus.
    • Pelvic Tension: Tightness in the pelvic muscles.
    • Medication: Some medications can cause vaginal dryness such as birth control.
    • Life Changes: Hormone changes, menopause, or cancer can be causes for pain during sex.
    • Fibroids: Non-cancerous growths that can cause a feeling of pressure or heaviness.
    • Digestive Issues: Conditions such as IBS or Crohn's Disease.
      

What Can Help?

After you talk to your doctor, they might suggest physical therapies involving kegel exercises or dilator kits. There are many different options for each, so it is important to find the right set for your needs and comfort level. If you have any questions, you can always reach out to a member of our staff.

Kegel Exercisers: Start with the larger, lighter weighted balls and work your way to the small and heavy options. Many times you can find a kit that contains multiple sizes. Start with holding the ball inside for about 10 seconds. It is okay if you cannot hold it for that long. You can work up to it. For more information and a full training routine, check out our Kegels guide.

Dilators: Start small and make sure not to push yourself too far. We highly recommend using a lubricant to make the insertion is more comfortable (water based is best). Start by lying down on your back or side and insert your dilator of choice. If you cannot insert even the smallest dilator completely that is okay. Make sure to relax completely and see if you can push the dilator a bit further into your body. We recommend using your dilators for about 12 minutes a day, every other day. Caring for your dilator kit is just like caring for any other silicone sex toy, you can use regular antibacterial toy cleaner, or if you like you can boil them to completely sterilize them for your next use. You can even stick them in the top rack of your dishwasher and run it without detergent on the sanitize setting.

Sex After Cancer

What to Expect

Many people going through or who have gone trough cancer treatments have had to adjust to major changes in their life that come fast and often without warning. Perhaps you or someone you know is just coming to terms with this realization and could use some guidance on how to recover and work through these changes.

Build a Support Group

This is something that you may have heard before, but might not yet have thought about. There are millions of thoughts running through your mind and at times it feels like you cannot tune them out. 

Identify what problems are troubling you the most and reach out to your friends and family. Assign each one problem and any time you need to talk about that problem go to this person within your circle. Doing this will let you work through your concerns while freeing you from the anxiety of unloading too much on any one person.

Evolving Anew

After profound change, sometimes our sex or love-lives can be left strained because life got in the way of intimacy. This does not happen to everyone, but when it does it is easy to understand how it happened. Sometimes it is hard to know how to reclaim our sexual side, though the sooner you can get back into the swing of things the better. As any person who has waited for their libido to return can tell you, the longer you spend not trying, the harder reclamation becomes.

Many people will find the idea of intimacy after how their bodies might have changed to be stressful and at times scary due to performance anxiety. To those who feel this way, remember, sex is not a race. If you cannot do something that you used to be able to do, do not despair. This is a fresh chance to experiment and find something new. If you are feeling self conscious about any change to your body, talk with your partner about these feelings to re-establish the boundaries of your dos and do nots.

Adapt to the Situation

It is not fair to yourself to expect your sex life to be the same if your body has changed. Do what you need to in order to boost your self-esteem. Do things you know you are good at, try learning a new skill, or try exercise.

At Enchantasys we have a variety of items that can help you get back your sexual identity. Among them, we have pumps, dilators, c-rings, and kegel exercisers. We also offer wigs, carry packers, and can order breast forms. If any of these items will help you feel greater comfort, please ask our staff.

Accept Change

First, let us look at ourselves. Perhaps you have not had many changes or maybe this experience has transformed you just at the point in your life where you had learned to love yourself in mind and body, and now you have a whole new body to get used to and learn to love. Regardless of the changes brought by your experience, we all have a wanting to be desired, to hold our partner’s gaze and fill them with carnal passion.

No matter what changes you have experienced, you can still have these feelings! Start small. Try dating your partner, be overly flirtatious, and ask your partner to do so as well. It will not take long for you to internalize these affirmations and regain your sense of romance and passion. The goal is to make you both feel desired.